The back story
One of the most difficult decisions I made last year was to come out as a conservative. Though it may be shocking that I was ever shy about my political beliefs, there was a time when I hid amongst the California Liberals and Leftists around me. I tried not to attract attention to my black sheep views. I even went as far as trying to be a Liberal, though I failed miserably.
It’s strange when you live in such a partisan environment that you try to convince yourself you believe in the progressive views of the radical Left. I wanted to fit in with family and friends, to laugh at the apparently amusing mutual outrage for things that I found I in fact agreed with. The conservative in me hated it, and I felt like I was “playing dumb” by holding back facts and I frequently kept my mouth glued shut in order to keep from vehemently disagreeing with the Liberals around me to prevent a debate.
Civil discourse has always been something I welcomed and rather enjoyed, yet I held myself back from engaging in such discussion for over a decade!
March 5th of 2020, I “came out” as a conservative, instantly becoming a leper to SoCal society. I ended up with fewer “lifelong friends” than fingers on my hand. Those who didn’t promptly dispose of me, actively worked at ruining our friendship. I got called horrible names and was accused of being disgusting things, even though nothing changed from 5 minutes before except their awareness of my political standing.
At the time, posting this was so incredibly difficult! I was terrified of the impending rejection and loss. I knew there would be fallout, but I never would have imagined it being so terribly vast. People I never would have thought would discard our friendship over politics were jumping ship.
I grieved, crying many times before I began to become stronger. Through the encouragement of the couple of friends I had left saying, “what the Hell are you letting them talk to you like that,” I undertook the mission of deleting former “friends” who took this as an opportunity to badger and bully me relentlessly over every post, every comment, everything I did. All this, even though I still hadn’t started posting politically.
There is always a silver lining though. If I wasn’t so mistreated by people I loved, I would have never begun doing so much research to spread the truth and attempt to help people see past the fake news, and hopefully educate people through facts and reality.
Eventually, I met tons of amazing, like-minded people who I adore, and they talked me into starting my website. As Peter Pan would say, “to live has been an awfully big adventure.”
The Facebook post that changed everything
The following was the caption from my “coming out” poem post:
“I’m ripping off the band-aid. Support from a few of my dearest friends has giving me the courage to do so.
It’s sad that I was/am actually afraid of posting this. Afraid of seeing who my fake friends are. Who will judge me and not want to associate me because of my beliefs? Who will throw away years and years of friendship knowing where I stand politically? Who is going to patronize me like I’m an idiot for what I believe in? Who will jump down my throat for having different views? Who will abandon hope for our future as friends even though NOTHING about me has changed from the person you knew and loved? What family is going to treat me ill mannered when they find out I’m not a liberal?
These are the legitimate fears people have in coming out as someone on the right side of the aisle.
I don’t get into politics with my friends. I choose to leave it out of conversation unless something is directly asked of me. I enjoy civil discourse with people of opposing views, and actually welcome it. I don’t enjoy being belittled for who or what I support, especially when I usually could do the same and choose not to. I’m not about to go on a political posting spree or anything. Just this poem.
So, here’s my poem about how I feel about living as a pink-haired, barefoot, essential oil using, organic and natural loving, Californian, libertarian hippie mama in a blue state.
If you have mean things to say, please don’t. If you’re leaving my life, do so with respect. If you’re feeling extra supportive, words of encouragement are blessings I would love to hear. If you really don’t give a shit and just love me for me, bless your heart, I love you for you too.
Update: for those who think I’m being overdramatic because you yourself aren’t a judgemental bootyface: I’ve already lost people on my friends list since posting this.”
